Margery Pettifer, 54, completed the Council's Restart Course on Tuesday, marking what officials described as 'the most patient resolution to a Tribunal proceeding this year'.

Mrs Pettifer, who attended the eleven-week programme following a misunderstanding involving a hairdresser's appointment and an unrelated bin lorry, said she had learned 'an enormous amount, mostly about doors'.

Her new position at the Royston Vasey Hardware Cooperative will involve 'standing near the gardening section and not making eye contact with the public'.

Course Leader Reginald Pook, on completing his 412th Restart Course, declined to be interviewed. 'I have other clients,' he said, gesturing to a queue of seventeen people who appeared to be holding lanyards in their teeth.

The Echo congratulates Mrs Pettifer on her return to economic personhood.